hey baby hey baby hey
makeup @ anna sui spring/summer 2015.
#1 cis needs to check their privilege
In writing this ode to Alan, I was given one caveat – that had nothing to do with any topic being off limits – perhaps dangerous - but rather to do with the length of my speech.
This is due to my Mother reading her own eulogy, and Keith who has just read the eulogy my Grandad wrote about himself. Some people might find that a tad strange but to be honest, this makes perfect sense to me – because as every Adams knows – if you want something done correctly, you damn well have to do it yourself. No one will ever produce work as high a quality as an Adams can – Granddad would definitely assure you of that.
There’s no doubt that everyone here will be feeling an Alan sized hole in their life. He was a formidable, cheerful presence after all. But, as he was the most practical, efficient and bossy man I know, I feel confident in saying he would much rather us gather up the very important life lessons he taught us and take comfort in living a very Alan-esque life.
Now, of course not ever practice that he preached should be taken into consideration. Especially things such as eating no fruit except canned pineapple, refusing to turn the volume down on the television, being very suspicious of female authors, keeping all your money in a shirt pocket and most importantly supporting Manly.
However besides that, his wisdom was ridiculously vast. Personally I’ll be taking on board his rules of always having Mint Slice in the fridge, knowing how to spell phlegm, sending birthday and Christmas cards to everyone, pouring a beer so there’s not too much foam, travelling frequently and extensively, and having a hearty breakfast. As the great-granddaughter of a doctor and nurse I can assure you – breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
As with any intelligent person, you could never limit Granddad’s personality to just a few adjectives. He was loving, dedicated to his family and would never say no if we wanted a Batman ice cream after school. He could also be stubborn as hell and dismiss you with a signature look and wave of the hand. He got pleasure from seeing others happiness yet he would refuse to come down for dinner – except notably, when Mum and Dad were away and I cooked him a lamb roast.
He was sharp as a nail and quick as a whip, and maintained his intelligence until the end – often asking me for help with things then telling me I was incorrect. Unfortunately he also maintained his penchant for being a smart arse – a true male Adams quality if I ever did see one. All of you who inherited this particular trait will be pleased to know that up until his end he didn’t back down. Just two weeks ago, when visiting him he turned around to Mum in the middle of a conversation and said “Deborah - what dustbin did you find that top in” followed up with his classic cheeky grin.
I’ve gained a few Adams traits myself – hating apologising, being a great liar, and loving reading - however my favourite that he passed on to me is that I’m always right. There is an incredibly calming feeling in knowing that everyone else except the Adams’ are stupid and you’ll always be superior to them.
He loved the simple things in life – especially his routine. Reading during the day, Foxtel at night, always wearing his gold watch, and Solo on Wednesdays. Even incredibly weird things like boiling his peas for 20 minutes were an unchangeable part of his routine.
Granddad also enjoyed a good luxury though - the last time I saw him was on father’s day – when we had BYOed prawns and beer to the hospital. Despite the fact that he claimed the prawns were of inferior quality he still managed to eat more than the rest of us.
Finally, the most important lesson I’ll take from Granddad came with me acquiring my new job a couple of weeks ago. He asked a million questions – did we have a Christmas in July party, what my typing skills were like, did they provide lunches for us, etcetera. In the end he concluded with “are you happy though? Because if you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
Nicki Minaj by Jeff Bark
Styled by Robbie Spencer
Not your typical production about love.